


Numb.

by RiverTron



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: I mean, M/M, Panic Attacks, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Treebros, guess who's back bitches, its evan and cnnor, jdbwjhsdbjs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 21:19:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17588618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiverTron/pseuds/RiverTron
Summary: Connor is always numb, ever since the start of senior year though, Evan Hansen has been making him feel something.





	Numb.

**Author's Note:**

> Here ya go, a present for being so late.

Connor doesn’t cry.

Connor gets angry. Connor punches stuff and screams and threatens people but he never ever cries. He hasn’t cried since the second grade when he had thrown the printer at his teacher. He felt numb after, numb as his mother and father showed up at the school to bring him home, numb as he sat in his bed with his knees pulled up to his chest, numb as he screamed at his sister to get out of his room, numb as she began to cry, and numb all the way up to senior year of highschool. As Connor storms away from Evan fucking Hansen and crumples his creepy fucking letter with  _ her  _ name in it he realizes he’s closer to tears then he has ever been since the second grade. Connor storms, it’s just what he does. He’s like a raincloud, he’s gloomy and threatens rain but all he ever does is thunder and move along. He drags his arm across his eyes and scowles as the rough material of his jacket makes his eyes burn.

He makes his way out of the school. Only realizing his hands are shaking when he goes to unlock the door of his car and cant get the keys into  _ the fucking door _ . It shouldn’t make him as angry as it does but in the next second Connor pulls the keys back and slashes them across the hood of the car, his jaw clenched as it makes a loud screeching sound against the metal and leaving only a thin, uneven, scratch. So Connor does it again, and again, and again, until the words “FUCK YOU” are scratched into the hood of his car and he just  _ knows  _ that Larry is going to throw an absolute fit when he sees it and probably take his car away again. Connor doesn’t care. 

Connor drives and speeds until he makes it to his house, because he’ll be damned if he calls that dreadful ass place home, and takes the keys out of the ignition after placing the car into park. Connor rests both his arms on the steering wheel and rests his head on top of them, letting out a deep sigh. Only when he uncurls his hands from fists does he realize he is still holding Evan fucking Hansen's letter in his hands. He sighs again and pulls his head back, lifting the letter to get a better view of it. Judging by the letter, Evan likes Zoe. That didn't surprise Connor, who fucking didn't like Zoe? Zoe with her charm and her smile and her perfect attitude that even his parents adored. Connor finally gets to the end of the letter and freezes. This kid, Evan Hansen, thinks no one would notice if he disappeared. 

Connor isn't sure what to make of it. 

The sad part is, it's probably true. Connor didn't even know the kid's name and the only time he paid attention to Evan in the last 11 years of school, because now that he thought about it he had seen Evan that day as he threw the printer, was to push him and then later scream at him in the computer lab. Connor finally opened the door to his car and stepped out, slamming it shut behind him and stuffing the letter into his front pocket. Connor knew his mother was home right now and had probably already seen his car, but again, Connor couldn't find himself to care even as he opened the door and slammed it shut behind him. 

“Connor, why are you here you should be in school!” Cynthia exclaimed as she came into view, Connor just shrugged. “I didn't feel well.” He said, he knew his mother wouldn't believe the lie, not with how flat it came out, but she wouldn't try and argue with him either, not anymore. “You should have gone to the nurse then.” Was all she said back, Connor decided not to answer her and just crossed his arms over his chest. “I didn't make lunch yet, do you want anything?” She asked. “No.” Connor returned and stomped up the stairs, for the last time that day, he slammed his door shut. 

-

“Dude you're so fucked.” Jared says as Evan closes his locker just as the final bell rings. “M-Maybe uh, maybe I can ask for it back? Just tap him on the shoulder and ask him to give it back?”  Evan said, it sounded pathetic even to his ears, he doubt it sounded any better to Jared's. “Right, just ask the guy who shoved you to the floor to give a crazy sex letter-” Jared started “It isn't a sex letter.” Evan interjected, “about his sister back to the weirdo that wrote it.” Jared finishes and even though it isn't a sex letter and even though it wasn't supposed to upset Connor. 

Evan was so fucked. 

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who's back bitches?!!!!


End file.
